making meaning

If I had been happy working a typical J.O.B.

If I hadn’t been much bothered by the constraints of typical western life..

If conforming to the way it is hadn’t felt like it was eating me up from the inside.. I probably wouldn’t have ever started any of this side hustle stuff. Not the first time, and most definitely not this time. Life is busy enough, with more than enough to fill my days, so it’s absolutely not that I wanted yet another thing to take up my time and energy. Of course not. But the fact that I can’t seem to tolerate the typical ways of living and being in this culture… well, that’s enough of a driving force isn’t it?

And that, alone, gives all of this meaning, for me.

What gives your life meaning? What gives what you do from day to day meaning? Do you feel the need for meaning in your life?

reader question - bandwidth issues

reader question - bandwidth issues

Pre-S:

Sometimes I see questions come up in various places about the things we talk about here (whether it’s a Facebook page or group, on Insta, in a blog comment somewhere, or even an email someone has sent me) and it makes me want to write about them here for everyone… So, ta-da! Moving forward, I’ll write these posts as you all send in questions, or as I see things come up in various places and just kind of pepper these in with other blog posts… Cool?

Here’s the question…

being a lighthouse

being a lighthouse

I have become the tiniest bit obsessed with lighthouses.

I assumed that it was part of my thing about luminous depth (finding, noticing, be-ing the light in the darkness), and it totally is… but it’s also so much more.

You know the thing about lighthouses, right? They just stand where they are, straight and tall and strong, and shine shine shine shine shine.

They don’t worry about what’s going on at the next lighthouse down the coast.

They don’t worry what the weather is doing.

They don’t try to figure out how to shine brighter and get more and more and more attention.

Nope.

They just stand there and shine their light for anyone in need of it. They help people get to where they’re going, and safely.

They’re helpers. Supporters. (I’m pretty sure they’re actually made of magick.)

Do you know what else they don’t do, though?

i thought i was doing the right thing

i thought i was doing the right thing

I didn’t realize when I got married, almost 14 years ago, that there were certain societal expectations to being a wife and mom (ok, so I’d been a mom for 7 years already by the time I got married, but something changes with the piece of paper). I didn’t realize, and wasn’t prepared for it.

Up until I got married, I’d been pretty particular about things like:

  • having my own space and my own time. Both. Regularly.

  • going to sleep with music and ceiling fan on (moving air is a must for me)

  • having candles going. Constantly. Different scents, even :-)

  • moving things around on the regular… feng shui, fresh energy, etc…

  • the list goes on, but you get the idea

why i think about death

why i think about death

Sooo, yeah I think about death. A lot, actually. But maybe not for the reason you think (especially if you read my first post).

Nope. The reason I think about death as much as I do, (and let’s quantify it here and now - we’re talking most days… at least a few times each week, generally speaking) is likely at least in part because my family has lost some good ones in the past few years. But that’s not the only reason. The other reason is that thinking about death, both those I love and my own, lights a fire for me.

Do you know what I mean?

life - truly - is short

life - truly - is short

I don’t know that I could name an age when I first noticed it… it kind of seems like it’s always been lurking around.

Haunting me.

Hunting me.

Sometimes silently stalking, and sometimes so raucous that I couldn’t hear or see anything else, including The Truth… that I am loved, and that I Am Love.

In 2017 I got a tattoo to remind me.

becoming real

becoming real

I sit here considering how to start this blog post… thinking ‘What do I actually want to say here…? What’s most important for someone to read if they’ve been feeling the way I’ve been feeling? What would I tell myself if I could step outside of myself long enough to get some perspective to then share back?’

And really, I think it’s the same thing that it always is