being a lighthouse

I have become the tiniest bit obsessed with lighthouses.

I assumed that it was part of my thing about luminous depth (finding, noticing, be-ing the light in the darkness), and it totally is… but it’s also so much more.

You know the thing about lighthouses, right? They just stand where they are, straight and tall and strong, and shine shine shine shine shine.

They don’t worry about what’s going on at the next lighthouse down the coast.

They don’t worry what the weather is doing.

They don’t try to figure out how to shine brighter and get more and more and more attention.


They just stand there and shine their light for anyone in need of it. They help people get to where they’re going, and safely.

They’re helpers. Supporters. (I’m pretty sure they’re actually made of magick.)

Do you know what else they don’t do, though?

They don’t go out hunting for the next person they’re meant to help.

I mean, duh.

They don’t pull out the bow and arrow and crouch down in the bush waiting for their next unsuspecting prey to come walking by. You know?

If they did that, they wouldn’t be able to stand where they’re meant to be shining, and helping those coming near. They wouldn’t be able to do what they’re meant to be doing.

I bet you’ve experienced marketing like that, whether online or off.

The person spraying the perfume in your general direction as you try to walk through the department store (for the love of all that is holy, can we STOP that please? Some of us have serious scent sensitivities and could land in bed with a migraine for the next 12-24 hours - ugh).

The person who invites you to a Facebook group and then pounces on you as if starved for their next paycheck, and you’ve got dollar bills hanging from your pockets.

The person going door to door selling steaks out of the trunk of their car (has that happened to anyone else?? And, has anyone ever purchased these steaks?! #curiousbear is wondering!).

How did that type of marketing feel to you?

If you’re anything at all like me, it felt like absolute shit. Maybe it even made you feel like an animal being hunted.

Whereas, on the flip side, someone selling from the perspective of being a lighthouse… that probably felt warm and inviting to you, right?

Maybe you purchased from them and maybe you didn’t, but you didn’t walk away from the interaction feeling in need of a shower (or 5).

I believe in being a lighthouse, you guys. I am not interested in being hunted… and I’m not interested in making others feel the way that it feels to be hunted. I’d much rather offer up what I can do, and allow those who can see and appreciate my light to come toward me. We can find out together if I can help them, or if I can’t (and if I can’t, I’ll damn sure point them in the direction of someone who can if I’m at all able).

That’s just part of being human, you know? That’s my take on it anyway.

What’s yours?

This is a really important discussion to me, and I’d really love your feedback. Share your thoughts in the comments?

i thought i was doing the right thing

i thought i was doing the right thing

I didn’t realize when I got married, almost 14 years ago, that there were certain societal expectations to being a wife and mom (ok, so I’d been a mom for 7 years already by the time I got married, but something changes with the piece of paper). I didn’t realize, and wasn’t prepared for it.

Up until I got married, I’d been pretty particular about things like:

  • having my own space and my own time. Both. Regularly.

  • going to sleep with music and ceiling fan on (moving air is a must for me)

  • having candles going. Constantly. Different scents, even :-)

  • moving things around on the regular… feng shui, fresh energy, etc…

  • the list goes on, but you get the idea

why i think about death

why i think about death

Sooo, yeah I think about death. A lot, actually. But maybe not for the reason you think (especially if you read my first post).

Nope. The reason I think about death as much as I do, (and let’s quantify it here and now - we’re talking most days… at least a few times each week, generally speaking) is likely at least in part because my family has lost some good ones in the past few years. But that’s not the only reason. The other reason is that thinking about death, both those I love and my own, lights a fire for me.

Do you know what I mean?

life - truly - is short

life - truly - is short

I don’t know that I could name an age when I first noticed it… it kind of seems like it’s always been lurking around.

Haunting me.

Hunting me.

Sometimes silently stalking, and sometimes so raucous that I couldn’t hear or see anything else, including The Truth… that I am loved, and that I Am Love.

In 2017 I got a tattoo to remind me.

becoming real

becoming real

I sit here considering how to start this blog post… thinking ‘What do I actually want to say here…? What’s most important for someone to read if they’ve been feeling the way I’ve been feeling? What would I tell myself if I could step outside of myself long enough to get some perspective to then share back?’

And really, I think it’s the same thing that it always is