Sometimes I see questions come up in various places about the things we talk about here (whether it’s a Facebook page or group, on Insta, in a blog comment somewhere, or even an email someone has sent me) and it makes me want to write about them here for everyone… So, ta-da! Moving forward, I’ll write these posts as you all send in questions, or as I see things come up in various places and just kind of pepper these in with other blog posts… Cool?
Here’s the question…
What do I do if I know there’s something more for me, but I have no bandwidth to go after it right now?
Ok, so without knowing any more details about this one, I will say that it immediately goes straight to my heart, because I’ve felt like this for so long; (most of my adult working life, in fact). So first… I hear you and see you in this question.
I would say that this comes down to needing to choose to prioritize making time for you, first and foremost in your life right now. I think many of us, women and mothers most especially, get really easily sucked into taking care of everyone but me syndrome (totally a technical term there, by the way), and without even realizing it. To the point that, we sit up and look around one day and realize that 15 years have flown by in just about the blink of an eye, and that we are not really any closer to our own dreams and goals than when we started out!
When there’s no time or bandwidth for you to add anything else in to your days… when you’ve already stretched each hour to the point that they’d be better at yoga than you are… you know it’s time to switch gears. Are you with me, here?
Let me give you a practical example just recently taken from my own life… I’d been feeling a touch resentful that I couldn’t seem to buckle down and make any real progress on my own goals in quite a while (ok months, if we’re being really honest here.. and… well… why not, right?). I’d get home from work and need to get dinner squared away, get the dog out, walked and fed etc, and get things ready for the evening so that we could settle in for bed and to start the next day all bright, shiny, and fresh. I wasn’t making any progress on the things I needed to do (for me!) because by the end of the day I am just fried. There’s nothing left.
Ok, well… so I looked around and did what any logical person might, which is to say that I thought maybe I should start getting up earlier in the morning. The problem is that I already get up at 5:15 on the days that I work from home, and at 4:15 on the days I need to drive into the office. I was damn sure not getting up any earlier than 4:15 am on weekdays (or any days). So what did that leave… hmmm… and it dawned on me. What if I get up at my normal time and instead of immediately rushing into what needs done for everyone else… I did what needs done for me.
[did you just hear that record scratching sound, or was that only me?!]
This might sound utterly ridiculous, but it felt like a total revelation to me. You mean… I can do that?!?!? (are you sure???)
So yeah, that’s what my next experiment will be. What does it feel like to get everything setup the night before, so that when I wake in the morning, I can do something that’s on MY priority list. Maybe that morning it’s writing. Maybe it’s yoga. Maybe it’s meditation. Maybe it’s something for my business. My only rule in this experiment is that it’ll be something that’s important to me. Something that’s going to fill me up and make me feel like I’m actually in my life, and not just on the periphery… and secondary to those I love.
Because honestly… if I’m not here and fully present in my own life (for me, too… not just everyone else), what (truly) is the point?!
And not only that, but I believe that once you start putting yourself back into the picture, these other things (in this case, the ‘something more’ for you) start to almost spontaneously find their way into your life. I know this sounds all kinds of woo-woo, and maybe it is a bit… but it’s also true. You start being present in your life for yourself, and watch how the spaces open up for those goals and dreams of yours.
So tell me… do you ever feel like you’ve got a bandwidth issue in your life, and if so, how do you handle it? Are you the one that goes on the back burner all the time? Have you tried anything that’s really helped you to put yourself smack dab right back in the middle of your life? Tell me everything.